The choice to put your baby up for adoption is not an easy one, and the months that follow the birth and adoption are not easy, either. It will take you some time to get back to your normal routine, accept what has happened, and be 100% confident in the decision that you made. In time, however, you can return to the happier, more vibrant life you deserve to live. Here are three tips to help you move on following an adoption:
Do not bury your feelings.
Sometimes birth mothers feel the need to suppress their feelings or hide them, but this can just make your emotional burden heavier. Remind yourself that it is completely normal to feel what you are feeling, whether that be grief, frustration, sadness, or even excitement for the future. Try confiding about your feelings to a trusted friend or family member. If you do not have someone you can share your feelings with, consider seeing a therapist. He or she can be a great listener as you vent about your feelings and also offer some guidance for moving forward.
Create a plan for your life.
One of the reasons you gave your baby up for adoption was probably so that you can go on to better yourself and improve your own life. Now, it is time to take steps in that direction. Write out your game plan for the next few years. Include plans for school and a new job. Try to create goals for certain dates so you can easily measure your progress. For example, you can make it your goal to apply to five colleges by the end of the year and to take four classes per semester next year. This will help keep your mind on the positive side of what you've been through.
Keep in touch with the adoption agency.
Most adoption agencies offer some sort of services for the birth mothers following the actual adoption. Yours may have group activities you can attend with other birth moms, allowing you to share your stories and experiences with others who have been through the same thing. They may also be able to show you photos of the baby or give you updates -- depending on the terms of your adoption. Even in the years following your adoption, you can continue to rely on the agency as a resource if you ever have questions or concerns.
Check out a website like http://www.achildsdream.org for more information and assistance.Share